Find me a way
To get to Articulate Land
Mould me the clay
Bury yah� brain in the sand
Lay the table with Rose water at hand
Marmite on French toast, Horlicks no sugars
Mind yah� manners
�Excuse my French�.
Fly me o�er in a hot-air balloon
Up above the Tinsel Baboon
Let me catch an aerial view
Of da� frozen chosen few
Speakin� Pappadong♫ hullabaloo
Inside the Cock �n� Bull Saloon
You see! I see
Lemon and Iced tea
This land is for �cultured� Oxymora
Clones of Arctic monkeys
Chattin� and eatin� flunkeys
Drilling holes on the Ozone
O, Zone? Another war zone?
I met a grand old Typewriter (aka. TYPO)
Wearing stoned-washed 501
Crock-skin booties�n da sun
Silk scarf, Bowler, Red rose in da� front
Pink Floyd acid age Rasta pun
Morris Minor with a rugg�d run
�Every one here speaks of wasted years
Donning shrunken �academic robes�
Concealing well their Oxbridge woes
Staring each others� flaming fears
Sipping Single Malt and Beer
Lifting college ties for a golden cheer!
Eating Organic Pumpkin� pie
With cucumber, HP sauce and fries (home grown freshly frozen)
And the Menu read:
�Travel, divert, or take a laxative�.
Do people have �real jobs?�
�O no!�, �yes; yeeesss� �
Typo blink-blinked and blushed:
He gathered his thoughts and meant to say -
�Pilfering print space
Cheating and manipulating the public
O La! The Press is free for all!
Press �aint the Public
That�s a little oblique
Public is really a phantom
To be used by stealth and quantum
Print any Bunkum
Underwritten by the quango Guild of �Plonkem�♦
Welcome to the world of
The Democratic Republic of Articulate Land� [DRAL].
Yes, O dearly,
How does your garden grow?
On fresh cow dung
And the balding Ding-Dong
The Ceylonese Scare crow you no?
Excuse my French�
With these parting words and some not for print
Professor Typo vanished into the star-spangled sky
Leaving me high and dry
Alone and lost in the city of Pilfering Cry!
♫Crisp dialect spoken in Articulate Land; Hullabaloo is the root language of
♦ Plonkem is a jargon of sophistication used by professional Plonkers.
Professor Typo spoke radical Franco-Latin with an accent on �excuse�.