For
those who have shown concern, I am writing to share my inner
thoughts.
I am afraid it's a bit long but I want you to read it right to
the end; I want everyone who expressed concern to read it. And
also others including those who were silent!
Actually I was very concerned for Bavan; it was easy for him to
make the announcement – which came spontaneously without any
prior arrangement – he did not even consult me. Moved by
the situation in the East he made the pledge at a meeting
organized to focus attention on the suffering in the East.
Having tried everything, he decided he would fast with the hope
that people would hear him; that Canadians would notice.
We
had earlier both planned a six day fast and sought and got
permission from the authorities to do it in Parliament Hill in
Ottawa when
51 school girls and 2 teachers were killed by Sri Lankan Kefir
jets
which deliberately and intentionally targeted and bombed the
Chencholai Complex. We had to call it off because Parliament was
late in opening and the weather was getting cold and the
authorities did not allow a tent in Parliament Hill.
This time too the plan was to still to do it at a public venue
for maximum impact but the plan had to be scrapped due to
pressure from certain quarters. I am only sorry that his
sacrifice of denying himself any sustenance for six days was not
used to best advantage to generate widespread sympathy for our
suffering people in the NorthEast of Sri Lanka; mobilizing more
and more Tamil Canadians to join and thereby drawing the
attention of possibly the mainstream media, politicians, the
world and if at best ordinary Canadians.
In all this I was beginning to get worried, although I was with
my husband all the way, fully supporting him in his endeavor
from day one, I knew our children, our families and I would be
the real and ultimately the sole losers if anything happened to
him. It would seem some what irresponsible on my part,
encouraging him the way I did. So much so I was extremely alert
at night checking to see if he was still breathing. That's how
worried I was.
My heart was getting heavy as the days went by
seeing him taking only water. We had to make him drink a small
glass of skimmed milk at nights to prevent low blood sugar in
his system, resulting in a coma. We also had to add some salt to
his water as he was starting to get cramps. The reason I did not
fast together with him was because I wanted to be able to look
after his needs although most of the time I missed meals as I
did not want to arouse in him, any thoughts of food.
I am 13 years younger to him, he is the best
husband and father ever; we do everything together; we share
happiness and sorrow together, face life's challenges together
and pray together; I cannot imagine my life without him.
Yet I was strong and I know from where I got that strength. It
was the will and resolve we both have to stand and be counted
together with
our freedom fighters and many hundred and thousands of
fellow Tamils involved in the struggle to emancipate our
homeland; further strengthened by
our faith in the divine and our constant efforts to connect
with IT.
Bavan was amazing!
His resilience was extraordinary. He was in an inspired state
going about as normal, doing his everyday routine of helping
people. There were concerns that he would not complete the full
six days with some people casting doubt in his ability saying
"Ivar naalu naal koody needikka maatar, paarpom." (Let us see
whether he could last even four days). There were some who
suspected that Bavan could have cheated as he did not fast in
public. To all of them, all I could say is we believe in the age
old saying "to
thine own self be true." He has to answer only to God, His
Higher Self and to his own conscience and to no one else. And
for all those who thought we were seeking publicity we are sorry
for they do not know the real us.
But mockery and suspicions aside I have to tell you that Bavan
never once felt hungry; it was so surprising for he is someone
who likes his food and cannot be stopped from eating and
snacking late at night which he does. Although when the occasion
demanded he has fasted many a time. He has fasted for
"Pirathosham" often and for "Kanthashashti" on many occasions
and and on our first year of marriage at age 32 when I was 19
years he fasted all six days for "Kanthashashti" only taking
water; I was in awe then of my new husband and still am. Last
year for "Kanthashashti" both of us fasted, we had only fruit
and milk in the evening after prayers.
There is no question there was divine protection all the way. I
knew my husband was in safe hands.
One thing I noticed he felt connected more than ever and
radiated a kind of optimism that everyone’s prayers would be
answered, that the suffering would end and freedom was not far
off.
My husband is
my hero. He is a pioneer of the freedom struggle and a
lifesaver. At age 19 he saved the lives of over 90 Tamils who
had taken refuge in his family home having to flee their homes
and run for their lives in the
1958
island wide pogrom
against Tamils.
It was when SWRD Bandaranaike was Prime Minister
and both he and J R Jayawardene a leading opposition politician
at that time fueled communal hatred against the Tamils and was
responsible for the violence that erupted against them.
The Tamils had virtually come running to the Sri
Skanda Rajah home in Ratmalana a suburb of Colombo, some already
stabbed on the way, leaving their burning houses and possessions
behind, in the faith that they would be safe in Bavan's home.
His father was then District Judge of Jaffna and it was hoped
his family and home would be given protection (his father
Justice Pon Sri Skanda Rajah later became Judge of the
Supreme Court, the highest court in the island at that time next
to the Privy Council in Britain).
Soon Bavan's house was surrounded by a mob of
more than 300 Sinhalese thugs and arsonists with petrol bombs in
hand; ready to set fire to their house and burn to death the
people inside. The terrified Tamils, number of them old and
feeble, ran to hide under beds, screaming and crying; overcome
with abject fear that they were going to die. As the frenzied
mob surged ahead Bavan had no alternative but to use a gun which
he had got only a few days earlier when he knew the violence was
seriously irrupting and something told him he would have to
protect lives.
He shot into the air from the balcony of his
home to keep the killers at bay. He managed to keep shooting
until he was able to disperse the mobsters who started to run
away in panic at the rapid succession of shots that were fired
into the air.
He held on tenaciously, resisting and repelling
the mob and defending the lives of the 90 Tamils whose lives
were in his hands, while his older sisters one of them who was a
young doctor at that time (who later became a renowned
eye-surgeon) and the other a Physics graduate (who later became
a Barrister of Grays Inn London and wife of one time Sri Lankan
Ambassador to the UK) along with the help of Bavan's younger
brother were dressing and caring for the wounds of Tamils who
had earlier been stabbed. More than 24 hours later Col. F C De
Saram and his troops came and evacuated them to a refugee camp.
(It must be noted that these pogroms took place long before the
LTTE was ever conceived to respond to the dire need for Tamils
to take up arms to defend themselves, their life and limb,
property and land before they’re are subjugated and eliminated.
Now Tamils in the capital Colombo are free from Sinhalese mob
violence and pogroms against them; thanks to the profound
psychological advantage that Tamils have due to the LTTE and the
fact that they exist; although Tamils in Colombo are still
subject to unlawful detention, torture, abductions and
disappearances and are killed at an alarming rate by the Sri
Lankan state and its armed forces the mobs cannot touch them).
Bavan’s ordeal did not end there, but had only begun. He had to
leave Ceylon soon after the incident, interrupting his
university education at the engineering faculty of the
University of Colombo, to sail to England as his life was in
danger. He was forced to leave because there were a number of
Sinhalese thugs still after his life because of what happened.
Ten years later, he returned to Ceylon hoping to live there to
make his parents who were pining for him happy. Four months to
the day after he returned his father passed away and his mother
died 9 days after that.
If Bavan's fast had helped to change some people and draw
attention to the plight of the Tamils in NorthEast Sri Lanka in
some small way, he would have accomplished his goal.
For all the support he received (to the more than 200 people who
came) both he and I feel indebted and humbled.
We thank you again for your concern.
Yours truly,
Usha S Sri Skanda Rajah
